Archive for November, 2009
EJFI Dayanim Conference Hear Gidolei Yisroel Stress “Giyur Lechumrah” Safeguards Integrity of Klal Yisroel
Written by Admin on November 24, 2009 – 5:34 am -Secaucus NJ…For nearly 60 dayanim and rabbanim from around the world, the message from a number of Gedolei Hatorah was that only “giyur lechumrah” (conversion according to the highest standards of halacha) can help safeguard the “identity and integrity” of the Jewish nation. The occasion was the 4th Annual Dayanim Conference of Eternal Jewish Family International, which was held at the Sheraton Meadowlands (November 8-10). For two days, the dayanim shared experiences in their respective batei din and communities and heard tshuvos (responsa) to a slew of contemporary shailos, including those of such halachic luminaries as Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv.
The conference dealt with such issues as the effect of giyur on the overall personality of the ger, the responsibilities of batei din towards the entire family unit, procedures and protocols of the giyur process, the complexities of “ger koton,” the appropriateness of teenage conversion, the annulment of geyrus, hatofas dam bris, and evaluating the hashkofos and character of geyrus applicants. Many of the speakers stressed the importance of “giyur lechumra” as a safeguard of the integrity and wholeness of klal Yisroel.
Amongst the speakers were Harav Shmuel Kaminetsky (Philadelphia Rosh Yeshiva), Harav Elya Ber Wachtfogel (Rosh Yeshiva, South Fallsburg),Harav Reuven Feinstein (President, EJF Halachic Committee), Harav Yitzchok Sheiner (Rosh Yeshiva, Kaminetz – Israel), Dayan Chanoch Ehrentreu (Rosh Bais Din – London), Harav Yitzchok Falk (Rosh Mesivta, Beis Medrash Elyon – Monsey, NY), Harav Dovid Olewski (Rosh Mesivta of Ger – Brooklyn), and Harav Leib Tropper (Chairman, EJF Rabbinic Committee). Other speakers included Harav Eliyahu Levine, (Rosh Kollel Choshen Mishpat, Lakewood, NJ), Harav Tuvia Wettenstein (Belzer Dayan, Monsey, NY), Harav Eliyahu Attias (Rosh Bais Din Harabbani, Petach Tikvah), Harav Nochum Eisenstein (Vaad L’Inyanei Geyrus, Jerusalem), Harav Yosef Veiner (Rav Shaarei Shamayim, Wesley Hills, NY), Harav Yitzchok Schachner (Dayan, Da’as Mishpat), Harav Yerachmiel Fried (Rosh Bais Din, Dallas TX), Harav Binyomin Weiss (Rosh Beis Din, Montreal), Harav Dovid Schochet (Toronto Beis Din), and Harav Meir Hertz (Lakewood, NJ).
Many of the dayanim at the conference are part of a growing network of batei din around the country that are affiliated with EJF. While Dayanim were meeting in a conference center at the Meadowlands Exposition Center, concurrently, a group of nearly 30 women mentors from around the country were gathered in another part of the hotel to participate in round table discussion from prominent dayanim and rabbonim on the sensitive issue of preparing committed conversion candidates.
Posted in EJF Conferences | No Comments »Horizons/EJF Joins RAJE in Jewish Continuity Message to Russian Youth
Written by Admin on November 23, 2009 – 11:42 am -Horizons/EJF Joins RAJE in Jewish Continuity Message to Russian Youth.
Stamford, CT… For 100 Jewish youth from the former Soviet Union, many of them students, Shabbos Bereishis was an opportunity to plant deeper roots in their commitment to Judaism. The occasion was a Shabbaton sponsored by the Russian American Jewish Experience (RAJE) of Gateways and Horizons/Eternal Jewish Family (EJF) at the Stamford Hilton. From the inspirational song and dance at Kabbolas Shabbos led by Rabbi Avrumi Jordan to the moving havdalah by Rabbi Yisroel Cherns, it was an important Shabbos in the lives of the youth.
For RAJE, this was a key event in their ongoing programs for youngsters from the former Soviet Union. Every Sunday nearly 400 youth gather in Brooklyn for several hours of lectures and programming. The change in the youngsters, say the devoted mentors who are part of Gateways, “is nothing less than sensational.” For Horizons/EJF this was the next chapter in an aggressive new partnership with kiruv organizations that in addition to Gateways includes Ohr Somayach, Arachim, Lev Le’achim, Hidabroot and Nefesh Yehudi. Similar seminars have been held in cities throughout Israel, in Baden, Austria and Odessa, Ukraine. It is part of a program to assure that youth build strong Jewish ties. Most importantly by marrying Jewish.
The EJF/Horizons message was delivered by Menachem Lubinsky, who introduced the program, Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, author of “Why Marry Jewish,” who painted a picture of how crucial it was to marry Jewish and Rabbi Leib Tropper, the Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Yaakov/Horizons and Chairman of the EJF Rabbinic Committee, who pleaded with the youth “not to abandon our ancient tradition and our Father in Heaven.”
Many of the sessions were interactive as the youth interacted with an impressive slate of world-renowned lecturers including Rabbi Jonathan Rietti, Rabbi Mordechai Suchard, Rabbi Mordechai Becher, and Rabbi Reuven Ibragimov. “This historic partnership between Gateways and Horizons/EJF is destined to have a major impact in our efforts to stem the tide of assimilation,” said Rabbi Suchard, the executive director of Gateways.
“We are delighted to partner with organizations like Gateway in helping them extend their important message of kiruv to assure Jewish continuity by encouraging the Jewish youth to marry Jewish,” said Rabbi Tropper. Following the Shabbaton, the two organizations announced plans for many other similar programs in the future.
Posted in EJF | No Comments »Jewish Girls Rescued From Behind Arab Veils
Written by Rochel Weinstein on November 5, 2009 – 12:00 pm -Eternal Jewish Family International (EJFI) is dedicated to preserving the sanctity of Jewish families across the globe. It promotes efforts that reach out to our brethren who are unacquainted with their rich heritage and encourages them to marry within their faith. Through worldwide seminars and association with kiruv organizations, like Gateways, Nefesh Yehudi, Arachim and Ohr Somayach, EJFI is devoted to providing as many unaffiliated Jews as possible with the opportunity to learn of the inherent privilege they have to build a Jewish family. Its recent partnership with Lev L’achim is an effort to confront the impact of Jewish women marrying Arab men – and its life-threatening consequences.
When an Arab employee of the municipality of Jerusalem drove a tractor into a crowd and was killed on the scene, the story made headlines. Lesser known, however, was his motivation: the fury at his Jewish wife for extricating herself from the abusive life he had inflicted on her.
Thousands of our Israeli sisters are living a similar nightmare as the wives of Arab men. Their spiritual birthright and real names lie buried beneath garments of submission and forced customs. Children are raised as Arabs, fully aware that their mother’s Jewish status is a disgrace in their village.
And then there are the beatings. Blood. Bruises. Humiliation. Intrinsic components of such marriages in Arab culture.
None of this is new. The abuse is widely documented in the press. So why do women continue to fall prey to it?
Allured by the charms of these men and their promises of stability, such relationships occur within the entire Jewish spectrum throughout Israel, from the most religious to secular homes; from the most dysfunctional to high-standing. Each woman becomes a victim, overpowered by her husband’s psychological and financial dominance that ensures little or no chance of leaving the tortuous life that was unknowingly chosen.
Providing Hope for the Hopeless
Rabbi Mordechai Neugroschel is staff advisor to Eternal Jewish Family International and counsels women involved in interfaith relationships. Horrific stories of their abuse make the headlines, but are sometimes not enough to penetrate a belief that the man one is interested in is different from the rest.
“These women have heard many stories, but ‘their’ boy is not the same. And they prefer to think, ‘This will not happen to me.’”
Rabbi Neugroschel cautions that one must consider how the women were raised. He notes that the intervention differs between religious and secular Jews, who, by nature, have more of a challenge proving that marrying outside the faith is wrong.
“This is simply illustrated by comparing Israel’s traditional, yet superficial, education standard to one radiant non-Jewish boy or girl. How can it stand a chance? At the very least, these parents may be able to convince their child not to marry an Arab.”
Some consult rabbanim for help.
“A girl raised in a secular home is, by definition, not observant, desecrates Shabbos and doesn’t keep kashrus. A question to the parents: Only now you’re interested in what the rabbi has to say?!”
Knowing the girl’s ‘language’ is essential.
“A rav might refer to a source in Shulchan Aruch and discuss the severe issur – how it’s wrong from a halachic point of view. While these rabbanim are extremely knowledgeable, they are not reaching these types of girls, who need to be told that they are valuable links in a spiritual chain.”
Rabbi Neugroschel suggests meeting with experts in this field, rabbanim who may refer to halacha, but won’t use it as a sole reason to avoid intermarriage. The most successful discussions include the differences between cultures and mentalities. And while research statistics cannot be relied upon alone, Rabbi Neugroschel says it’s worth mentioning that an astounding 20,000 Jews are currently lost in Arab villages.
Rising to the Challenge of Rescue
Lev L’achim, in partnership with Eternal Jewish Family International, actively responds to these heart-rending intermarriages and works to prevent them at all costs. For well over a decade, Shloimy Chasson* and Shay Ben Aryeh* have participated in their efforts, serving the frontlines of this battle by rescuing women and building new lives.
Their help is only a phone call away.
“Our hotline is published in newspapers, mentioned in lectures throughout the city, and advertised on pay phones, even in Arab villages when possible,” says Shay. “We’re trying to reach every woman that needs our help to let her know that she doesn’t have to handle her situation alone.”
Friends and family also utilize the hotline, gaining valuable advice on how to handle such relationships as they are forming. If Lev L’achim is called to intervene, volunteers will start by analyzing the best way to approach the situation; for example, if the girl works in a makolet, a conversation will be casually initiated.
“We’ll tell her that there is a rumor going around that there are boys canvassing the area, looking to make relationships with Jewish girls. They are coming inside the stores. If you meet any, please let us know. We don’t want them to succeed.”
She will be told that others have observed the relationship. In the early stages, this can open the door for further discussion regarding the dangers of such an attachment. Lev L’achim provides private counseling and any other assistance the girl needs.
“We can help process her feelings,” says Shay, “and open a dialogue to convince her that this relationship is no different than the rest.”
If a girl needs more convincing, Shay will put her on the phone with a woman who was rescued from her abusive marriage and show the girl what the future holds if she ignores the warning signs.
Shay and Shloimy’s main objective is to stop the relationship before it is too late. This simply requires the foresight and sensitivity commonly used to steer someone back to the proper path in life. When marriage or children, are involved, however, it’s an entirely different battle, requiring “nuclear,” rather than “conventional,” weaponry: pursuing the case in the legal system.
“Though we will help women submit claims against their husbands, using legal channels to retrieve Jewish children from the villages is a very long and tedious process,” says Shloimy. “Also, Jewish secular courts don’t always side with Jews, especially if the home appears stable.”
Shloimy explains the scenario of a rescue: “A Jewish woman calls from an Arab village, begging to be rescued and returned to her family. We assess her situation and sincerity. Unfortunately, some women return to their abusive husbands even after we have expended so much energy to get them out of their miserable situations. So we have to be certain that a woman truly wants to leave her husband and is willing to undertake what could possibly be a dangerous risk of his retaliation. Once their sincerity is determined, a meeting place is designated and then we follow through with our plans.”
After the rescue, Lev L’ achim provides protection and a place to live, including placement with foster families, if necessary. It offers financial assistance, registers children in proper schools and reestablishes contact with a woman’s family if the option is available.
Soon after Devora settled in an Arab village near Netanya with her husband and child, she found herself trapped in an abusive relationship. Upon discovering Lev L’achim’s hotline, Devora saw it as her only hope of salvation.
A few conversations were all it took to convince Lev L’achim’s volunteers that she was desperate to be liberated. Shloimy and Shay chose the hour for the rescue then traded their usual religious attire for something more casual that would blend in with Devora’s neighborhood. This allowed them to scope the area and investigate additional factors regarding the relationship.
Like any strategic plan, however, the most important facet was determining the amount of time available. This depended on Devora’s husband, who owned a hair salon and usually left work at 5:00pm. On the day of the rescue, however, four of Shay’s volunteers showed up in the salon at 4:30pm, needing expensive services that would provide a generous profit.
In the meantime, Shay raced to Devora’s house, helped pack her things, and delivered her and her child to a hostel that would provide everything they needed to build new lives.
***********************************************************************************
While Tamar suffered the abuse of her Arab husband, Nasim, a close friend had seen enough and alerted Lev L’achim through the hotline, leaving Tamar’s phone number as a point of reference. Initially, Shay’s offers of help were resisted, but then he devised another way to break through her emotional barrier.
Shay told Tamar’s friend to arrange a party, then showed up in casual attire as one of the guests. He approached Tamar, who was soon comfortable enough to reveal her story. In parting, they traded phone numbers, with Shay offering his assistance if she ever needed help with her challenging situation.
Shay waited two days before contacting Tamar. Had he called any earlier, she may have been stubborn about accepting his help. At that particular moment, however, she was just recovering from a beating and desperate to seek freedom for herself and her child.
Together Shay and Shloimy assessed the situation. As a successful mechanic, Tamar’s husband kept sporadic hours. The main challenge would be guaranteeing that he would be occupied while they rescued Tamar and her child.
Finally, the appointed evening came and the stage was set. Shloimy placed a call to Nasim’s shop and observed him from a distance as he answered the phone. Shloimy told Nasim that he was stuck on a remote road, located over an hour away, and desperately in need of a mechanic. Nasim wanted to help, he said, but did not have any means of transportation. Shloimy not only promised to send a car but also offered to pay Nasim double over-time for his trouble.
Anxiously, Shloimy and his assistants watched: Would Nasim take the bait? Or would he return home, to find Tamar making her way out of his life?
Finally, they observed Nasim enter a taxi and drive off: it was time to rescue Tamar, who was quickly filling suitcases and preparing for the escape.
Later that evening, when Nasim entered his empty home, his fury knew no bounds. He shattered nearly everything that Tamar had not taken. His searches for her were fruitless: Lev L’achim had integrated her into a new community and a new life.
*********************************************************************
As respected mechanchim in their religious neighborhood, Miriam’s parents had no idea of their daughter’s emotional chaos. The confusion regarding the philosophies of her upbringing festered within; that is, until she connected with an Arab man who provided just the right amount of friendship to make Miriam feel completely understood.
By the time her parents noticed changes in her personality and tznius, Miriam was being introduced to the world of selling and using drugs. Frantic, her parents called the hotline for help.
At first, Miriam resisted any efforts to change or break off the relationship. When her friends and parents persisted, she finally agreed to meet with Shloimy. He broke through emotional barriers to make Miriam aware of the damage she was inflicting on her own life. Some of their conversations took place over the phone, and that’s when the trouble began.
In essence, Miriam’s boyfriend was controlling her life. Often he would scroll through the contacts on her cell phone to ensure she was speaking only to friends that had his approval. Eventually, he came across Shloimy’s number and demanded that Miriam tell him who it belonged to. When she would not cooperate, he called the number, but Shay wouldn’t tell him who he was.
Furious, the Arab man searched for Shay by tracking the number, but to the wrong address. Pounding on the door, demanding to be allowed in, he was finally greeted by a bewildered stranger, fearing for his life.
After a long and tedious process, Lev L’achim helped Miriam reconstruct her life and piece her family back together again.
*******************************************************************
Through remarkable effort, Lev L’achim and EJFI have helped hundreds of women make the transition into new lives. Sadly, for thousands more, such redemption is still a dream.
*names have been changed
Posted in Jewish Conversion Stories | No Comments »