Eternally Jewish: Eternal Jewish Family's Blog |Jewish Conversion|

EJFI Dayanim Conference Hear Gidolei Yisroel Stress “Giyur Lechumrah” Safeguards Integrity of Klal Yisroel

Written by Admin on November 24, 2009 – 5:34 am -

Secaucus NJ…For nearly 60 dayanim and rabbanim from around the world, the message from a number of Gedolei Hatorah was that only “giyur lechumrah” (conversion according to the highest standards of halacha) can help safeguard the “identity and integrity” of the Jewish nation. The occasion was the 4th Annual Dayanim Conference of Eternal Jewish Family International, which was held at the Sheraton Meadowlands (November 8-10). For two days, the dayanim shared experiences in their respective batei din and communities and heard tshuvos (responsa) to a slew of contemporary shailos, including those of such halachic luminaries as Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv.

The conference dealt with such issues as the effect of giyur on the overall personality of the ger, the responsibilities of batei din towards the entire family unit, procedures and protocols of the giyur process, the complexities of “ger koton,” the appropriateness of teenage conversion, the annulment of geyrus, hatofas dam bris, and evaluating the hashkofos and character of geyrus applicants. Many of the speakers stressed the importance of “giyur lechumra” as a safeguard of the integrity and wholeness of klal Yisroel.

Amongst the speakers were Harav Shmuel Kaminetsky (Philadelphia Rosh Yeshiva), Harav Elya Ber Wachtfogel (Rosh Yeshiva, South Fallsburg),Harav Reuven Feinstein (President, EJF Halachic Committee), Harav Yitzchok Sheiner (Rosh Yeshiva, Kaminetz – Israel), Dayan Chanoch Ehrentreu (Rosh Bais Din – London), Harav Yitzchok Falk (Rosh Mesivta, Beis Medrash Elyon – Monsey, NY), Harav Dovid Olewski (Rosh Mesivta of Ger – Brooklyn), and Harav Leib Tropper (Chairman, EJF Rabbinic Committee). Other speakers included Harav Eliyahu Levine, (Rosh Kollel Choshen Mishpat, Lakewood, NJ), Harav Tuvia Wettenstein (Belzer Dayan, Monsey, NY), Harav Eliyahu Attias (Rosh Bais Din Harabbani, Petach Tikvah), Harav Nochum Eisenstein (Vaad L’Inyanei Geyrus, Jerusalem), Harav Yosef Veiner (Rav Shaarei Shamayim, Wesley Hills, NY), Harav Yitzchok Schachner (Dayan, Da’as Mishpat), Harav Yerachmiel Fried (Rosh Bais Din, Dallas TX), Harav Binyomin Weiss (Rosh Beis Din, Montreal), Harav Dovid Schochet (Toronto Beis Din), and Harav Meir Hertz (Lakewood, NJ).

Many of the dayanim at the conference are part of a growing network of batei din around the country that are affiliated with EJF. While Dayanim were meeting in a conference center at the Meadowlands Exposition Center, concurrently, a group of nearly 30 women mentors from around the country were gathered in another part of the hotel to participate in round table discussion from prominent dayanim and rabbonim on the sensitive issue of preparing committed conversion candidates.

Horizons/EJF Joins RAJE in Jewish Continuity Message to Russian Youth

Written by Admin on November 23, 2009 – 11:42 am -

Horizons/EJF Joins RAJE in Jewish Continuity Message to Russian Youth.

Stamford, CT… For 100 Jewish youth from the former Soviet Union, many of them students, Shabbos Bereishis was an opportunity to plant deeper roots in their commitment to Judaism. The occasion was a Shabbaton sponsored by the Russian American Jewish Experience (RAJE) of Gateways and Horizons/Eternal Jewish Family (EJF) at the Stamford Hilton. From the inspirational song and dance at Kabbolas Shabbos led by Rabbi Avrumi Jordan to the moving havdalah by Rabbi Yisroel Cherns, it was an important Shabbos in the lives of the youth.

For RAJE, this was a key event in their ongoing programs for youngsters from the former Soviet Union. Every Sunday nearly 400 youth gather in Brooklyn for several hours of lectures and programming. The change in the youngsters, say the devoted mentors who are part of Gateways, “is nothing less than sensational.” For Horizons/EJF this was the next chapter in an aggressive new partnership with kiruv organizations that in addition to Gateways includes Ohr Somayach, Arachim, Lev Le’achim, Hidabroot and Nefesh Yehudi. Similar seminars have been held in cities throughout Israel, in Baden, Austria and Odessa, Ukraine. It is part of a program to assure that youth build strong Jewish ties. Most importantly by marrying Jewish.

The EJF/Horizons message was delivered by Menachem Lubinsky, who introduced the program, Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, author of “Why Marry Jewish,” who painted a picture of how crucial it was to marry Jewish and Rabbi Leib Tropper, the Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Yaakov/Horizons and Chairman of the EJF Rabbinic Committee, who pleaded with the youth “not to abandon our ancient tradition and our Father in Heaven.”

Many of the sessions were interactive as the youth interacted with an impressive slate of world-renowned lecturers including Rabbi Jonathan Rietti, Rabbi Mordechai Suchard, Rabbi Mordechai Becher, and Rabbi Reuven Ibragimov. “This historic partnership between Gateways and Horizons/EJF is destined to have a major impact in our efforts to stem the tide of assimilation,” said Rabbi Suchard, the executive director of Gateways.

“We are delighted to partner with organizations like Gateway in helping them extend their important message of kiruv to assure Jewish continuity by encouraging the Jewish youth to marry Jewish,” said Rabbi Tropper. Following the Shabbaton, the two organizations announced plans for many other similar programs in the future.

Jewish Girls Rescued From Behind Arab Veils

Written by Rochel Weinstein on November 5, 2009 – 12:00 pm -

Eternal Jewish Family International (EJFI) is dedicated to preserving the sanctity of Jewish families across the globe. It promotes efforts that reach out to our brethren who are unacquainted with their rich heritage and encourages them to marry within their faith. Through worldwide seminars and association with kiruv organizations, like Gateways, Nefesh Yehudi, Arachim and Ohr Somayach, EJFI is devoted to providing as many unaffiliated Jews as possible with the opportunity to learn of the inherent privilege they have to build a Jewish family. Its recent partnership with Lev L’achim is an effort to confront the impact of Jewish women marrying Arab men – and its life-threatening consequences.

When an Arab employee of the municipality of Jerusalem drove a tractor into a crowd and was killed on the scene, the story made headlines. Lesser known, however, was his motivation: the fury at his Jewish wife for extricating herself from the abusive life he had inflicted on her.

Thousands of our Israeli sisters are living a similar nightmare as the wives of Arab men. Their spiritual birthright and real names lie buried beneath garments of submission and forced customs. Children are raised as Arabs, fully aware that their mother’s Jewish status is a disgrace in their village.

And then there are the beatings. Blood. Bruises. Humiliation. Intrinsic components of such marriages in Arab culture.

None of this is new. The abuse is widely documented in the press. So why do women continue to fall prey to it?

Allured by the charms of these men and their promises of stability, such relationships occur within the entire Jewish spectrum throughout Israel, from the most religious to secular homes; from the most dysfunctional to high-standing. Each woman becomes a victim, overpowered by her husband’s psychological and financial dominance that ensures little or no chance of leaving the tortuous life that was unknowingly chosen.

Providing Hope for the Hopeless

Rabbi Mordechai Neugroschel is staff advisor to Eternal Jewish Family International and counsels women involved in interfaith relationships. Horrific stories of their abuse make the headlines, but are sometimes not enough to penetrate a belief that the man one is interested in is different from the rest.

“These women have heard many stories, but ‘their’ boy is not the same. And they prefer to think, ‘This will not happen to me.’”

Rabbi Neugroschel cautions that one must consider how the women were raised. He notes that the intervention differs between religious and secular Jews, who, by nature, have more of a challenge proving that marrying outside the faith is wrong.

“This is simply illustrated by comparing Israel’s traditional, yet superficial, education standard to one radiant non-Jewish boy or girl. How can it stand a chance? At the very least, these parents may be able to convince their child not to marry an Arab.”

Some consult rabbanim for help.

“A girl raised in a secular home is, by definition, not observant, desecrates Shabbos and doesn’t keep kashrus. A question to the parents: Only now you’re interested in what the rabbi has to say?!”

Knowing the girl’s ‘language’ is essential.

“A rav might refer to a source in Shulchan Aruch and discuss the severe issur – how it’s wrong from a halachic point of view. While these rabbanim are extremely knowledgeable, they are not reaching these types of girls, who need to be told that they are valuable links in a spiritual chain.”

Rabbi Neugroschel suggests meeting with experts in this field, rabbanim who may refer to halacha, but won’t use it as a sole reason to avoid intermarriage. The most successful discussions include the differences between cultures and mentalities. And while research statistics cannot be relied upon alone, Rabbi Neugroschel says it’s worth mentioning that an astounding 20,000 Jews are currently lost in Arab villages.

Rising to the Challenge of Rescue

Lev L’achim, in partnership with Eternal Jewish Family International, actively responds to these heart-rending intermarriages and works to prevent them at all costs. For well over a decade, Shloimy Chasson* and Shay Ben Aryeh* have participated in their efforts, serving the frontlines of this battle by rescuing women and building new lives.

Their help is only a phone call away.

“Our hotline is published in newspapers, mentioned in lectures throughout the city, and advertised on pay phones, even in Arab villages when possible,” says Shay. “We’re trying to reach every woman that needs our help to let her know that she doesn’t have to handle her situation alone.”

Friends and family also utilize the hotline, gaining valuable advice on how to handle such relationships as they are forming. If Lev L’achim is called to intervene, volunteers will start by analyzing the best way to approach the situation; for example, if the girl works in a makolet, a conversation will be casually initiated.

“We’ll tell her that there is a rumor going around that there are boys canvassing the area, looking to make relationships with Jewish girls. They are coming inside the stores. If you meet any, please let us know. We don’t want them to succeed.”

She will be told that others have observed the relationship. In the early stages, this can open the door for further discussion regarding the dangers of such an attachment. Lev L’achim provides private counseling and any other assistance the girl needs.

“We can help process her feelings,” says Shay, “and open a dialogue to convince her that this relationship is no different than the rest.”

If a girl needs more convincing, Shay will put her on the phone with a woman who was rescued from her abusive marriage and show the girl what the future holds if she ignores the warning signs.

Shay and Shloimy’s main objective is to stop the relationship before it is too late. This simply requires the foresight and sensitivity commonly used to steer someone back to the proper path in life. When marriage or children, are involved, however, it’s an entirely different battle, requiring “nuclear,” rather than “conventional,” weaponry: pursuing the case in the legal system.

“Though we will help women submit claims against their husbands, using legal channels to retrieve Jewish children from the villages is a very long and tedious process,” says Shloimy. “Also, Jewish secular courts don’t always side with Jews, especially if the home appears stable.”

Shloimy explains the scenario of a rescue: “A Jewish woman calls from an Arab village, begging to be rescued and returned to her family. We assess her situation and sincerity. Unfortunately, some women return to their abusive husbands even after we have expended so much energy to get them out of their miserable situations. So we have to be certain that a woman truly wants to leave her husband and is willing to undertake what could possibly be a dangerous risk of his retaliation. Once their sincerity is determined, a meeting place is designated and then we follow through with our plans.”

After the rescue, Lev L’ achim provides protection and a place to live, including placement with foster families, if necessary. It offers financial assistance, registers children in proper schools and reestablishes contact with a woman’s family if the option is available.

Soon after Devora settled in an Arab village near Netanya with her husband and child, she found herself trapped in an abusive relationship. Upon discovering Lev L’achim’s hotline, Devora saw it as her only hope of salvation.

A few conversations were all it took to convince Lev L’achim’s volunteers that she was desperate to be liberated. Shloimy and Shay chose the hour for the rescue then traded their usual religious attire for something more casual that would blend in with Devora’s neighborhood. This allowed them to scope the area and investigate additional factors regarding the relationship.

Like any strategic plan, however, the most important facet was determining the amount of time available. This depended on Devora’s husband, who owned a hair salon and usually left work at 5:00pm. On the day of the rescue, however, four of Shay’s volunteers showed up in the salon at 4:30pm, needing expensive services that would provide a generous profit.

In the meantime, Shay raced to Devora’s house, helped pack her things, and delivered her and her child to a hostel that would provide everything they needed to build new lives.

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While Tamar suffered the abuse of her Arab husband, Nasim, a close friend had seen enough and alerted Lev L’achim through the hotline, leaving Tamar’s phone number as a point of reference. Initially, Shay’s offers of help were resisted, but then he devised another way to break through her emotional barrier.

Shay told Tamar’s friend to arrange a party, then showed up in casual attire as one of the guests. He approached Tamar, who was soon comfortable enough to reveal her story. In parting, they traded phone numbers, with Shay offering his assistance if she ever needed help with her challenging situation.

Shay waited two days before contacting Tamar. Had he called any earlier, she may have been stubborn about accepting his help. At that particular moment, however, she was just recovering from a beating and desperate to seek freedom for herself and her child.

Together Shay and Shloimy assessed the situation. As a successful mechanic, Tamar’s husband kept sporadic hours. The main challenge would be guaranteeing that he would be occupied while they rescued Tamar and her child.

Finally, the appointed evening came and the stage was set. Shloimy placed a call to Nasim’s shop and observed him from a distance as he answered the phone. Shloimy told Nasim that he was stuck on a remote road, located over an hour away, and desperately in need of a mechanic. Nasim wanted to help, he said, but did not have any means of transportation. Shloimy not only promised to send a car but also offered to pay Nasim double over-time for his trouble.

Anxiously, Shloimy and his assistants watched: Would Nasim take the bait? Or would he return home, to find Tamar making her way out of his life?

Finally, they observed Nasim enter a taxi and drive off: it was time to rescue Tamar, who was quickly filling suitcases and preparing for the escape.

Later that evening, when Nasim entered his empty home, his fury knew no bounds. He shattered nearly everything that Tamar had not taken. His searches for her were fruitless: Lev L’achim had integrated her into a new community and a new life.

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As respected mechanchim in their religious neighborhood, Miriam’s parents had no idea of their daughter’s emotional chaos. The confusion regarding the philosophies of her upbringing festered within; that is, until she connected with an Arab man who provided just the right amount of friendship to make Miriam feel completely understood.

By the time her parents noticed changes in her personality and tznius, Miriam was being introduced to the world of selling and using drugs. Frantic, her parents called the hotline for help.

At first, Miriam resisted any efforts to change or break off the relationship. When her friends and parents persisted, she finally agreed to meet with Shloimy. He broke through emotional barriers to make Miriam aware of the damage she was inflicting on her own life. Some of their conversations took place over the phone, and that’s when the trouble began.

In essence, Miriam’s boyfriend was controlling her life. Often he would scroll through the contacts on her cell phone to ensure she was speaking only to friends that had his approval. Eventually, he came across Shloimy’s number and demanded that Miriam tell him who it belonged to. When she would not cooperate, he called the number, but Shay wouldn’t tell him who he was.

Furious, the Arab man searched for Shay by tracking the number, but to the wrong address. Pounding on the door, demanding to be allowed in, he was finally greeted by a bewildered stranger, fearing for his life.

After a long and tedious process, Lev L’achim helped Miriam reconstruct her life and piece her family back together again.

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Through remarkable effort, Lev L’achim and EJFI have helped hundreds of women make the transition into new lives. Sadly, for thousands more, such redemption is still a dream.

*names have been changed

November Dayanim Conference to Include Mentor Symposium

Written by Admin on October 19, 2009 – 1:58 pm -

A WOMEN’S MENTOR symposium will take place November 8-9 in tandem with the annual Dayanim Conference at the Sheraton Meadowlands in NJ. By holding the mentor symposium concurrently with the dayanim conference, distinguished rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva will enhance the program by providing their perspective and responding to questions regarding the expectations of the batei din. The symposium will address the role of the mentor in guiding candidates, assisting them in meeting the requirements of their officiating bais din, and ultimately helping them integrate into a Torah community.

The participating women are either recommended by various batei din, were previously involved in kiruv, or aspire to be part of the EJF mission.

In addition to the formal lectures, the symposium is an opportunity for the mentors to share experiences and to learn from each other’s diverse backgrounds. The EJF mentor symposiums have proven to be extremely informative, helping to create a network for people with a common goal: to work alongside the bais din in helping committed intermarried couples build a Torah home. Approximately thirty mentors are expected to attend. For more information please contact Rochel Weinstein: (845) 357-1022 x106 .

250 Jewish Students Hear Plea to Marry Jewish in Major Shabbaton in Odessa

Written by Admin on October 15, 2009 – 11:26 am -

ODESSA, UKRAINE- An amphitheater overflowing with Jewish students was the background for a plea “to preserve your ties with our eternal Jewish family and to Our Father,” by Rabbi Leib Tropper, Chairman of the Rabbinic Committee of the Eternal Jewish Family. Speaking via a live hookup on Thursday September 3rd, Rabbi Tropper received wide applause when he pleaded: “Do not sever your ties to our glorious past and even more to what will be a glorious future.” The Shabbaton was part of a major initiative by EJF to stem the tide of assimilation and intermarriage in Jewish communities around the world. It was sponsored in conjunction with Nefesh Yehudi, funded by the Wolfson and Horn Families, and Tikvah, the local kiruv organization. Rabbi Tropper was followed by Menachem Lubinsky, President of LUBICOM Marketing Consulting and special consultant to EJF. Noting that it was the week marking the 70th anniversary of the beginning of the systematic destruction of Eastern European Jewry by the Nazis, Lubinsky noted: “What better time than now to reaffirm our commitment to Jewish eternity.” The session was introduced by Rabbi Shlomo Baksht, the chief rabbi of Odessa and the architect of the remarkable resurgence of Jewish life in Odessa.

In an inspirational and festive Shabbos that included singing and dancing to traditional zemiros, the students also heard lectures by prominent renowned lecturers. They included Rabbi Mordechai Neugroschel, Rabbi Chaim Cohen, Rabbi Doron Kornbluth and Rabbi Eli Ilani. Most of the students are enrolled in the Jewish University of Odessa, which is part of the network of Torah institutions established by Rabbi Baksht. Some 900 Jewish children are enrolled in the institutions, as well as 200 youngsters who are in the three orphanages sponsored by Tikva. Many of the orphans were found on Odessa’s streets without any hope for their future.

Intermarried Couples at Special Seminar in Odessa

Written by Admin on October 14, 2009 – 12:18 pm -

ODESSA, UKRAINE – A group of 15 intermarried couples, who are interested in becoming fully observant Jews by going through universally accepted Jewish conversions, participated in a two-day seminar on the process of conversion to Judaism. The keynote speaker was Rabbi Shimon Grilius, the “refusenik” of the ‘70’s, who is considered one of the fathers of the teshuva movement in Russia. Rabbi Grilius was incarcerated for five years under the Communist regime, ultimately leaving for Eretz Israel in 1974. The fact that such a seminar could take place in the Ukraine was not lost on the lecturers, which also included Rabbi Mordechai Neugroschel and Rabbi Doron Kornbluth. Menachem Lubinsky delivered a message from Rabbi Leib Tropper, dean of Yeshiva Kol Yaakov/Horizons and the Chairman of the Rabbinic Committee of the Eternal Jewish Family: “EJF is proud to have come to the Ukraine to sponsor this seminar for couples who are sincerely interested in making the arduous journey to authentic Judaism.”

Fourth Eternal Jewish Family Dayanim Conference Scheduled for November 8-10 in New Jersey

Written by Admin on October 13, 2009 – 12:06 pm -

PREPARATIONS WENT into high gear for the fourth EJF Dayanim Conference, which is scheduled to take place November 8-10 at the Sheraton Meadowlands in Secaucus NJ. Some 40 dayanim and Roshei Yeshiva will gather to confront crucial halachic issues that arise involving universally accepted Jewish conversion standards in intermarriage.

Most of the dayanim are part of a growing network of independent batei din in North America that have adopted the Jewish Conversion standards of leading poskim, as is being promulgated by EJF International. The Batei Din function in cities such as Baltimore, Monsey, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, New York, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Montreal, Miami, Lakewood, Dallas, Toronto, Houston, and Vancouver. Last year’s conference was addressed by such prominent Torah personalities as:

Harav Shmuel Kaminetsky, Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva of Philadelphia and a member of the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah of Agudas Yisroel

Harav Reuven Feinstein, Rosh Yeshiva of Mesivta of Staten Island and Chairman of the Halachic Committee of EJF

Harav Dovid Olewski, Rosh Yeshiva of the Gerer Mesivta (Brooklyn)

Harav Betzalel Tuvia Wettenstein (Belzer Dayan of Monsey)

Rabbi Eliyahu Levin (Lakewood)

The Messinger’s Universally Accepted Conversion

Written by Rochel Weinstein on October 5, 2009 – 10:35 am -

Whispers of a Jewish Past

Growing up in Guatemala, Daniella loved wandering through her grandmother, Virginia’s, uniquely large home: the welcoming, spacious rooms; the grand staircase in the front entrance hall that led to the pretty bedrooms upstairs. How grateful she was to live there with her parents, clearly ensconced in a world of comfort and love.

Even today, Daniella remembers marveling at her grandmother’s magnificent mahogany bed frame, and the Jewish stars that adorned it. A family heirloom from Spain, it travelled down the centuries, finally assuming its rightful place as the one tangible object in their Catholic home that made Daniella wonder about the possibly Jewish branches of their family tree.

The most intriguing room for Daniella, however, was adjacent to the kitchen – a small, secret alcove where she watched Virginia take a few moments to pray each day and light candles at sunset on Friday evenings. Also interesting was the kitchen itself, where seafood was prohibited and milk and meat items were kept separate. So foreign to their religion, however, the rituals mystified Daniella.

Her world evolved around their tiny community, where Virginia’s warmth and generosity were widely known. At the center of it all was her inherent belief in G-d and spirituality. She regarded Israel as “G-d’s country,” reminding Daniella to keep it in her prayers. Most important, she satisfied Daniella’s naturally inquisitive mind by patiently answering her constant stream of questions or appeasing her with candy or ice cream when she grew tired of them.

Daniella’s family encouraged her to be independent; at 18, she became a promising entrepreneur. Her electronics business required travel to Miami, where she met the family of a conservatively observant Jewish business acquaintance. Their practices stimulated Daniella’s interest in Judaism. Thankfully, the family was receptive to her curiosity, even encouraging her to approach a rabbi to learn more.

After three years of questions and answers, Daniella’s interest in Judaism blossomed into an intense yearning to become Jewish. Supported by her family, she kashered a corner of their kitchen and immersed herself in the study of Jewish texts.

Still, Guatemala’s diminutive Jewish community was not enough to satiate Daniella’s appetite for learning or her growing desire to live as an orthodox Jew – something virtually impossible in her current locale. Instead, she sensed a new life waiting for her in Miami.

A Personal American Dream

Similar to others who navigate the path of becoming Jewish, Daniella was prepared to invest whatever was needed for a proper Jewish conversion. Unfortunately, such sincerely interested individuals are often misled towards questionable conversions to Judaism by rabbanim who appear knowledgeable.

Daniella’s situation was no different: The rabbanim she encountered seemed up to par, but Daniella detected something wrong with their offers: for $3000, she was promised a Jewish conversion within a month; for $5,000, she would be able to consider herself Jewish that very day.

From her studies, Daniella surmised that proper conversions to Judaism require at least one or two years of learning. Finally, she met a respected rabbi who presented what she considered a reasonable path to a suitable Jewish conversion.

She attended the required classes and continued her personal learning. After only one month, Daniella was able to pray in Hebrew; soon after, she could even understand the words of the siddur. Never before had she been this close to realizing her dreams.

At last an acceptable rabbi and bais din completed her process of conversion. Daniella was euphoric. Especially when Samuel Messinger entered her life.

Combined Destinies

Originally from Pennsylvania, Samuel descends from a prestigious family of Munkatch talmidei chachamim. Unfortunately, similar to other immigrants at the turn of the century, religious observance among the descending line of gifted businessmen and philanthropists was eventually thrown off completely.

When it was Samuel’s turn to enter the family business, he, too, was extremely successful. But when his first marriage ended in divorce, he felt compelled to get in touch with his emotions and the spirituality of his ancestors. Soon he and his son, who currently serves as a chaplain for the US army, were regular participants in a local chumash and rashi class. Inspired, Samuel studied more Jewish texts and attended other shiurim.

As his learning increased, Samuel felt spiritually fulfilled and yearned for a partner with whom to share this exciting new era of his life. As an older single, however, it seemed that the odds of finding a wife were against him.

At this time, Samuel was offered the role of mashgiach for the Pesach program in Florida’s Doral hotel. There he met Daniella, and their relationship blossomed. Months later, when she became his wife, Samuel claimed that it was in the merit of the deal he made when he accepted the mashgiach position: that his earnings would be given to his rabbi’s son, a kollel yungerman learning in Cleveland, Ohio.

Daniella closed her business and assumed a teaching position in their yeshiva’s elementary school, then focused with her husband on building a Jewish home for their first child.

A Home on Holy Soil

The Messingers dreams had come full circle. But they wondered what it would be like to live them in Israel: the Jewish homeland so dear to her grandmother. Fourteen months into the process of making it a reality, they discovered the rigid standards that the Israeli government requires of converts to prove their Jewish status. For Daniella to obtain citizenship, her conversion papers would be carefully reviewed.

After four years of marriage and investing every effort to build a Torah home for their two year old daughter, the Messingers discovered that the rabbi who had issued her conversion was not recognized by the rabbinic courts in Israel. Had the documents been presented to them, Daniella’s request to become a citizen would have been flatly rejected.

Upon this discovery, the Messingers turned to Eternal Jewish Family International, an organization committed to safeguarding the sanctity of the Jewish people from questionable conversions to Judaism. After working with Daniella, EJF guided her towards a universally accepted bais din and unquestionable Jewish status in any community throughout the world.

Samuel says that EJF provided Daniella with the gold standard of Jewish conversion. “This organization will always have a special place in our hearts. It’s given us certainty for our children and descendants – that’s priceless.”

When Daniella gave birth to a son, she considered him their reward for pursuing a truly kosher conversion. Now they were ready to make the move to Israel. The Messingers still marvel at the siyata dishmaya regarding the flood of details that worked out so well, including the miraculous sale of their Miami home.

Seeking The Sale of the Century

The many prospective buyers knocking on the Messinger’s door reflected a healthy housing market. Thrilled at the offers and ready to sell their home on the spot, the Messingers looked forward to overcoming the final hurdle in their months of preparations for aliyah.

But the market suddenly plummeted, and with it, Daniella and Samuel’s hope of realizing their dreams. Undaunted, the Messingers moved to Israel anyway and rented an apartment while they researched housing options.

While walking through the Jerusalem streets one day, a man approached Samuel to offer assistance. He was the gabbai of a famous mekubal, the man explained, and would Samuel like to accompany him for a visit?

Samuel was struck by the simplicity of the rav’s modest home and clearly sensed the kedusha of the rav himself. He explained, through the gabbai, that nobody was interested in buying his Miami home, which he desperately needed to sell. The Messinger finances were strained from simultaneously covering the rent in Israel and the mortgage in Miami.

The rav provided Samuel with a segula; in return, Samuel gave him a generous donation for his personal needs. The rav said that the money would be given instead to talmidei chachamim who would daven for his situation.

A Sprinkling of Siyata Dishmaya

Samuel phoned Melvin, his longtime friend and personal agent in Florida, presenting him with the most unique customer service request of his career: “Please collect saltwater from the Atlantic Ocean and drizzle it throughout our home.”

Melvin laughed. Then he heard silence – Samuel was serious.

Amused, he followed Samuel’s instructions, dousing the Messinger home with saltwater – on the front and back doors and everywhere in between. When Melvin’s phone rang the next morning, he simply could not believe his ears: a couple was offering cash – on the spot – for the Messinger home.

Samuel was thrilled. The deal was even more remarkable considering that the housing market had slumped; within an eight month period, this contract and sale would be Miami’s first in eight months.

In the height of the Messinger’s excitement and hope, however, the couple suddenly cancelled the sale. Samuel phoned the gabbai, who on the advice of the rav said to repeat the process of sprinkling saltwater throughout the home.

This time, Melvin was a firm believer. He dashed to the Atlantic Ocean for another sprinkling of the Messinger home. Then he sat back and calmly waited for a miracle.

A few days later, Melvin received an offer from a couple who wanted the Messinger home, cash down, for even more money than the first offer.

Samuel points out that during this time, only two homes in the Miami area sold, and both were owned by families moving to Israel.

To Live a Dream

Each day the Messingers marvel that they are living out their dreams in the world’s holiest city. Their daughter, Toby, is well-integrated into the Bais Yaakov and speaks Hebrew fluently. Samuel treasures his walks to the kosel, especially for netz on Shabbos morning. The Messinger home is a popular meeting ground for seminary girls, who learn so much from Daniella, even how to knit. They are drawn in particular to her heartfelt emotion of gratitude to see and appreciate yiddishkeit in her Ramat Eshkol neighborhood. “I see the goodness in people,” she says, “how they’re spreading mitzvos and chessed. We don’t know what Hashem’s plan is, but Moshiach is around the corner – I just know it.”

Her tears swell as she expresses gratitude to Hashem for gifts that exceeded her dreams: her devoted husband and children that comprise her Torah home, located in the hallowed streets of Jerusalem. Most of all, Daniella is fervently appreciative of something that many take for granted: waking up each day as a passionate Torah Jew.

Living To a Different Tune

Written by Rochel Weinstein on September 23, 2009 – 9:49 pm -

Sitting in a church as a young girl, Linda felt distant to the environment and rituals. The other congregants had come to express faith in their religion; she was there to please her grandmother. Young Linda grew up without much spiritual satisfaction, yet deep within was an inherent belief in the existence of G-d. Linda never imagined that one day it would manifest itself within every corner of her life.

It all started with her Jewish fiancé, David. Based on similar interests in classical music, a mutual friend introduced them and the professional orchestra players formed an immediate bond. Religious barriers were non-existent: Linda considered herself on a spiritual quest that had nothing to do with her religion of origin; David’s intrinsic disinterest in Judaism meant that they would date for months before Linda would casually discover that he was Jewish. While this detail shocked Linda, it simultaneously planted within her the desire to learn all she could about the mysterious religion of her future husband.

A visit to the library was the first step. But the only information available lacked the meaningful spiritual dimension she desperately sought. Intrigued by the family dynamics of Jewish intermarriage, Linda was startled to discover that many children raised with two religions eventually keep neither, since the choice of a religion is often equated with the choice of a parent. Based on her research, there was no question that she would want to raise their children with one consistent religion – Judaism. Now all she had to do was convince not only her future husband but also her Lutheran family that this was, indeed, the right thing to do.

At first, David was ambivalent about Linda’s decision; agreeing to it would guarantee alienation from his vehemently anti-orthodox family. Her own family was devastated that she wanted to leave their religion altogether. But Linda was determined.

So she contacted a rabbi to map out the process of Jewish conversion. He inquired whether clergy from another religion would be involved in their wedding ceremony. Without any exposure to the true nature of Jewish conversion and all the halachic requirements that must be met, Linda intuitively knew that something was amiss. By the time it was over, she was amazed at how much of an emotional investment was required to make it all a meaningful endeavor.

Moving Through the Rhythms of Life

Linda and David eventually married, joining together not only a fantastic classical CD collection, but also the similar goal of building a Jewish home. David’s commitment was just budding, so Linda was eager for them to become involved with the reform congregation that had facilitated her conversion to Judaism. Guitars and female cantors, however, left the new couple uninspired. Instead, she felt drawn to learn more about the people walking home from shul in the orthodox part of town. But how?

When the first of her two children was born, Providence led Linda to a “Mommy and Me” playgroup at the local JCC. There she met a diverse population of Jewish mothers, including those from the orthodox community who invited her and David to discover the beauty of Shabbos and the true meaning of hachnasas orchim.

The couple eventually purchased a house within the eruv, making it easier for them to walk to shul and visit their friends on Shabbos. As Linda immersed herself in the Torah way of life, she came to a realization that rocked her world: The procedures of the conversion had not been enough to make her, or her young toddler, Jewish.

Linda had not come this far to give up on her spiritual quest - it had always been an uphill battle. In her youth, she faced the emotional challenge of her parent’s tumultuous divorce. And when, as an adult, she was in the midst of constructing a meaningful Jewish life, relatives and in-laws disowned the couple. (Although suffering emotionally from their parents’ disapproval, Linda says that the most difficult thing about her conversion to Judaism was seeking out new “family” to sort of “replace” those family members who rejected their desire to live a Torah life.) David was challenged with relating to his family as his wife attempted to pull them into new spiritual realms. At times, the pressure of standing up to their parents was too much – something the couple couldn’t endure.

Interestingly, David’s own family was a major player in Linda’s steadfast motivation. In the early 1900s, his great grandfather had left Lithuania to serve as the rabbi of a Midwestern town. Although the local school board resisted his efforts, he went on to establish a Talmud Torah. Still, the environment was not conducive to the spiritual survival of his family: out of his nine children, no descendants remained connected to authentic Torah Judaism – except Linda and David.

While Linda’s learning flourished, David’s spiritual growth was still being affected by his disappointed family. It was getting more difficult to stand up to them, but Linda tried to be patient, wanting David to take on lifestyle changes for himself alone.

Linda’s best efforts were not enough to make her Jewish, but she had not come this far to give up on making it happen. This time, Linda wanted a curriculum that ensured the certainty of a completely acceptable conversion in all spectrums of Judaism. She approached the shul’s assistant rabbi and bonded with his wife, who eventually served as her teacher and mentor. The shul’s chazzan and his wife also warmly welcomed the family.

How to Orchestrate a Kosher Jewish Conversion

The regional bais din was contacted and Linda proved to them her sincere desire to become a Jew. Ten years after the reform conversion, she underwent her second and final conversion – Linda became Leah. The road had been long, but now she had what she had always dreamed of: unquestionable Jewish status within any community. Leah could not wait until her children had the same precious gift.

But there was another bend in the road: the bais din determined that the children could not be converted since David’s commitment was lacking. Soon after, the bais din dismantled altogether, leaving Leah to search for help elsewhere. With renewed determination, she set out to accomplish yet another goal in her family’s spiritual existence.

A friend of Leah’s, who also had to search for a different solution in order to complete her own conversion to Judaism, directed Leah to Eternal Jewish Family International, an organization which assists intermarried couples who are sincerely dedicated to building Jewish homes. Leah sought the approval from her rabbi who had no doubt that EJF could accomplish what she could not do on her own.

That such a support system existed was a dream come true. The couple contacted Rabbi Dovid Jacobs, EJF’s executive director, whose understanding and foresight was pivotal in guiding the family. He arranged a meeting with various rabbanim from Daas Mishpat, a bais din in Monsey, New York, in order to determine the specific halachic standards that would have to be met.

EJF confirmed that David’s personal dedication to mitzvah observance needed to be strengthened. Leah knew that there was little she could do to influence her husband. She had always been advised to guide him without pressure. But now she utilized the one thing in her power that could directly invoke change: She prayed.

To Leah’s surprise, David’s commitment began to grow. Soon he rearranged his work schedule to accommodate his commitment to keep Shabbos as a sacred day and opened himself to learn more about his precious heritage.

Reaching For Spiritual Harmony

When David’s company informed him of a position on the East Coast, Rabbi Jacobs advised the couple to take it. He informed them that there was an orthodox community nearby, and living there would facilitate the process of their children’s conversions to Judaism. The couple saw this opportunity as a direct sign that Hashem was clearing the way to their goal.

David took the position and left alone to set up their new life. Leah stayed behind with the kids to pack up the house. This separation would be a blessing in disguise: on his own, without his wife’s influence or his parents around to sabotage his growth, David was finally able to nurture his own spiritual commitment. With the help of a kiruv rabbi, he immersed himself in adult Jewish studies, carving time from his schedule to learn each day.

From the beginning, EJF remained in constant contact with David’s rabbi, monitoring his learning schedule in order to verify his motivation and commitment. It provided standard halachic guidelines in learning and the resources needed to accomplish them.

When the family was finally united, they continued their spiritual growth, which was nurtured and closely monitored through EJF. At the local orthodox day school, the children blossomed. EJF was crucial in the family’s integration into their Jewish community. Leah and David claim that, if they hadn’t had EJF to navigate the process, it may have been months or even years before they would have accomplished their goal. Personally, Leah had waited long enough.

Finally, in March of 2009, the children’s Jewish conversion was complete. It was especially meaningful that another 28 years would not have to go by for them to fulfill the mitzvah of birchas hachama as a family.

At the ceremony, Leah and David accepted upon themselves the awesome responsibility of raising their children as Torah Jews and proud members of klal yisroel. They were told to make Judaism enjoyable in their home and to remember that any spiritual investment into their children will be passed on to their descendants.

After years of study and so much frustration, EJF helped Leah and David cement the family as one. It removed any doubt regarding whether they would be considered as full-fledged Jews by any rabbinic authority. It gave the couple the most precious gift: a united Jewish family.

An older version of Linda sits among the congregation. Attending shul is just one of the many areas in her life where she expresses her commitment to her religion. Her young son and daughter sit beside her, following along as she points out the spiritual beauty of their prayer. Most of all, she wants them to connect the words with the understanding that G-d is waiting to hear their requests and that, with His help, the impossible can become a joyous reality.

World’s Largest Jewish Outreach Organizations Join Eternal Jewish Family in New Major International Effort Against Intermarriage

Written by admin on August 24, 2009 – 10:56 am -

The Eternal Jewish Family International (EJF) has launched a major initiative on three continents to stem the tide of soaring intermarriage in Jewish communities in the US, Israel and Europe. Eternal Jewish Family is partnering with the largest and most successful kiruv (outreach) organizations, such as Ohr Somayach — Jerusalem, Hidabroot, Lev L’achim and Nefesh Yehudi in reaching out to large numbers of Jewish youth “with a direct message on the threat of intermarriage to themselves, their families, and the Jewish future”. In the US, Eternal Jewish Family will team up with Gateways in reaching vulnerable youth. “This epidemic of intermarriage can only be confronted with ‘straight talk’ about the dangers of intermarriage”, said Rabbi Leib Tropper, Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Yaakov/Horizons and the chairman of the Rabbinical Board of Eternal Jewish Family. “We can no longer afford to beat around the bush in the hope that the anti-intermarriage message will somehow penetrate”. In many instances, Eternal Jewish Family will be cosponsoring seminars and Shabbatonim for the Jewish youth where special sessions will be devoted to the dangers of intermarriage. The first such Shabbaton in March was held in Baden, Austria in a joint program with Nefesh Yehudi for more than 100 Israeli medical students in Central and Eastern Europe. Eternal Jewish Family will be joining the outreach (kiruv) organizations in many similar seminars in the coming months.

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